he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize