And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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