I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
