The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
