I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
