I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
