I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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