Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
