im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
