She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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