i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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