I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize