Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
