Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
