Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
