I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize