Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize