Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
