It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize