if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
