And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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