i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You ruined the universe
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
