but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
