my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
