Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize