I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
