Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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