Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
