you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
