So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
