UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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