Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish I only lived at night.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
