sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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