i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
