that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
