I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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