Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize