stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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