I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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