is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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