It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
