whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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