There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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