K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
