At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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