You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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