there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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