I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
