is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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