Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
