Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
