Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
