i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
