Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Randomize
