I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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