Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
